Sunday, March 31, 2013

Ruling Sheikh, Unruly Mistress

Susan Stephens

So...clearly not ALL of these books can be written by mid-western women who have never seen a person of colour...but it sure seems like it sometimes.  In a previous post, I discussed "subgenres" of Harlequin, but it should be mentioned that, despite that, I've never read any that involved interracial couples, unless the man is "Arabian" and these "Arabian" men are always from made up countries that they either rule, will rule, are trying to get out of ruling or are the brother of the ruler.  I assume it is so the aggressively white ladies who write these treasures don't have to do much research beyond "robes are sexy", "royalty is sexy" and "ooohhh swords!" but I refuse to look into it beyond that.

As you could likely tell, gentle reader, this gem features an "ethnic" fella.  And, spoiler alert (ya know, beyond the title), he becomes a Sheikh.  But first!  A ski vacation?  Like ya do.  Where he meets a plain, chubby girl who runs and cleans and cooks for the chalet where the once and future Sheikh and his pals are recreating.  Her name is Lucy Tennant because she is English.  His name is Razi al Maktabi, because "Arabian" but for a reason that the author glosses over, he is called Mac.  But only to Lucy.  And only until she goes to his made up country, but I am getting ahead of myself.

Naturally, when these two meet, the sparks fly!  Actually, the canapes do because she is a chef (and house cleaner and karaoke champion) and he makes her clumsy.  Because of lust.  They kiss and make out in a hot tub the next day and are inseparable until he leaves to rule his country a few days later.  She, of course, doesn't know she shagged a Sheikh because if she did, the book would be 30 pages instead of 186.   They part as rational adults who had an affair (except for the part where Lucy whispered her love for him while he slept the first time they shagged) and Lucy carries on with her life for 2 pages.  But then!  Pregnant.  What is a girl to do?  

This book is very rare in that everyone behaves, for the most part, pretty rationally.  The now pregnant Lucy simply calls him because, before he left he had given her a business card (from when he ran several multi-billion dollar companies before becoming Sheikh).  His various assistants give her the runaround so she gets on a plane and flies to his made up country to tell him.  Then she learns his deep (not really), dark (more of a deep tan) secret (that everyone knew except her)...
Soooo he whisks her away to an Oasis and eventually they decided to get married because he realizes he loves her too and that kids are cool.  Pretty rational. Oh, and they have twins by the way.    But, please, do not be afraid my lovely friend, there is still a few hunks of whack-a-doo quotes I would like to share with you.
"Mac was the same, and yet he was utterly changed.  And not just by a costume, but by the fact that he was a king." p. 96
I mean that would probably do it.  Also, once someone has become "king", maybe stop calling them Mac.  Just a thought.


"It was Mac's voice- Razi's voice (same guy)- the voice she loved.  It was the tone of voice she had missed and adored- the voice of a man she loved. And the wall (of the harem, because, Sheikh)- with its lurid descriptions of lovemaking in every form- was the best friend she'd ever had, Lucy registered wildly, consumed by savage heat as Razi stripped her named before proving how fast a desert king could lose his robe." p. 172-3
 That is a quote.  That means I didn't change it.  Her best friend is a porny wall, which is cool but there is no mention of it leading up to that section.  So, that happened.  And the desert king robe losing class is for the direct lineage for the desert throne.  Not just any ole jackass can take it.

And in case you were wondering? The name of this kingdom is "Isla de Sinnebar".  You are welcome.  Mmmm craaacky.






Retro and therefore cool?

I'm back!  To this blog!  Which is retro!  
The truth is, I can't stop reading these things, so I might as well pretend there is a good reason for it.  Which is this blog.  So...welcome back me?